Needing something

It feels like there's something missing in my life. Maybe its the happiness of a happy family, the affections of someone else. Or maybe its me missing the picture of life. Maybe that's what am missing. The big pic of life is what am missing and am been so blind worrying about other things that didn't matter like clothes,shoes, or boys. I was so focus on that stuff that i never got to see what the world was really like. helping the people that need it or doing something good cause you know it would help not because you have too someone told you too. And i think that's something i what to do and kinda help the world.

Life is very weird and wrong. Thing sin my life aren't peaches and cream. Am kinda not happy with the way my life have been. Its true what they say "life is a pain in the ass and you can't do anything about it". But am tried of letting life do what it what's with me and i cant handle it. My family is going though a struggle and because of my action last week. I cant deal with it. its something that i regret doing but i cant take it back and i guess i deserve what life is handing to me.

tried of being lied to. Need to find someone who wants me for me. Not because he wants something or playing a little game to show his friends he can get me. Dont need that in my life when i know that i can find someone real as god.